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So Much Brooding

by Manor Gates

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1.
What am I giving up to dream this big? To blindly lead myself to the cliff I can’t be remembered chained behind a door I fear it won’t take much for this to give a little more You can keep coming for me (Give it your best shot) You can keep coming for me (Is that good or not?) But I won’t be caught I’m pulling my weight I’m picking up steam Nothing is ever gonna be the same I’ve been failing for so long I can wait to beat my own streak I better start running If I’m gonna get away I have to ask myself Are you just part of the problem? Are you even an artist? My finger hurts But was it worth it? I know it's a dream, but why does it feel so real to me? What am I giving up? But am I ready for change? Is today the day? That I just say ok But I know That I won’t Just give up
2.
Yee-Haw 03:26 video
I saw you outside your habitat You avoided all of us, and that was that Not a glance back How could see you through? What we know wasn’t me? How could you see through? Everything I want to be This town ain’t big enough for the both of us Flannel pressed, hair elegantly messed "Better than thou" written upon your chest All I needed was a light And you activated my fight or flight And it’s all brand new For you to see where you came from And I’ve got your clue That your words are making me numb And I can’t wait to see you come down How could see through? What we know wasn’t me? How could you see through? Everything I want to be This town ain’t big enough for the both of us I want to see you steppin’ I’ve got a new position What’s that your bringing? Better watch your back Because I’m coming out swinging My one and only mission And it’s all brand new For you to see where you came from And I’ve got your clue That your words are making me numb And I can’t wait to see you come down And I can’t wait to hear your screams make no sound This town ain’t big enough for the both of us I want to see you steppin’
3.
It’s such a big move Showing all your cards Fold up your hands We have no regards Let me tell you what I learned Playing all my friends Like a fool you’ve been Fucking up again And this is how we’ll spend our time Dissecting every word you say Who Cares? You’ll be fine. And I am not the one who waits Projecting failures that you’ve made Good luck. I can’t stay. Can you see the pattern? Is it hurting your head? To be so brave? Saying everything as it comes into your brain Can you be this upset? Over what you are? Just when I think it can’t worse you’ll move the bar And this is how we’ll spend our time Dissecting every word you say Who Cares? You’ll be fine. And I am not the one who waits Projecting failures that you’ve made Good luck. I can’t stay. You’ll find a way to You’ll find a way to play dead Can you see the pattern? And this is how we’ll spend our time Dissecting every word you say Who Cares? You’ll be fine. And I am not the one who waits Projecting failures that you’ve made Good luck. I can’t stay. You’ll find a way to You’ll find a way to play dead I’ll fight my way out I’ll fight my way out of your head
4.
I’m not so sure I can keep my hands to myself anymore As the rope twists I begin to struggle up against it And can you see The ghost in me? This has a certain way of ending up If I just give my life away But if I never ever close my eyes I could just stay awake And It’s far too heavy To carry this burden around But you know what that’s about I’ve wasted my good times I’m worried about how I’m Still picking up the pieces As I start to leave them And can you see The ghost in me? This has a certain way of ending up If I just give my life away But if I never ever close my eyes I could just stay awake And It’s far too heavy To carry this burden around But you know what that’s about It’s an excuse to close my eyes and sway as I start to decay If I just let go, I can thrive If I just let go, I can die Can I give it a try? (If I just let go, I can die) What’s it like?
5.
(Okay, here we go) I'm isolating myself (Oh, yeah?) To feel something new (But what else?) I apologize more in my head than I'd like to (Oh, shit!) Show me where the feelings come from Show me how I need to become More than I already am (Can you just play pretend?) There’s always an excuse… We were so afraid of death We forgot to live it up I just can’t decide What progress looks like As the weather starts to change (Oh yeah, oh yeah) I could see myself do the same I’ll wait as long as I can To see you safe (Way to go!) It just so easy to complain About everything I won’t fix (Uh oh) I’m one bad t-shirt away From a fucking crisis There’s always an excuse To never make a move We were so afraid of death We forgot to live it up I just can’t decide What progress looks like You’re not what you said you were (When will you tell the truth?) You’re not what you said you were (You’re lying to the mirror) Am I made to suffer? Or is this not what you offered? Am I made to suffer? This is not what I want! (Just calm down, You’ll be fine, I swear it) I am so afraid…. We were so afraid of death We forgot to live it up I just can’t decide What progress looks like There’s always an excuse….
6.
I’ve been pensive about what you said And now it’s caught up in my head How am I ever gonna let it go? It’s like a blood disease That crawls within me And I never know how to treat it You’re sliding up my spine Never giving me time I just know I hate it You’re looking at me in the eyes And I got a lot to say But my tongue is twisted up in my brain Been thinking about what to do When it comes to telling the truth And I just want to say one thing…. I’ve got nothing left to prove to you Even if you think I do It’s just not true I’ll keep moving forward with my dreaming Never gonna slow down now You’re always on your way out You’ve got a lot of nerve coming in here And your presence makes it so much more severe Am I ever gonna let you know? I’m only begging you, please To believe what I see If only I could care to change it Watch the clock tick by As you’re losing the time To save wasn’t worth it You’re looking at me in the eyes And I got a lot to say But my tongue is twisted up in my brain Been thinking about what to do When it comes to telling the truth And I just want to say one thing…. I’ve got nothing left to prove to you Even if you think I do It’s just not true I’ll keep moving forward with my dreaming Never gonna slow down now You’re always on your way out I am becoming someone else I never asked for this How much more can I resist? I never asked for this I hope you choke on what scares you I hope it doesn’t move I hope it stays in your throat All this was avoidable
7.
What are they saying about you me and again? It’s one too many times around Around the bend I think I fucked up again I want to try something new Something I know won’t break Just stick with me kid and have a little faith I don’t care about your energy I just care about our synergy (My head is killing me) I’m “stuck” in love with you and no I don’t want to change our view I'll never sing a song about you so this will have to do There’s nothing worse than this empty bed It’s haunted by dread I wish I heard what you said I’ve never been one to pray But just for heaven’s sake I’m burning at both ends and buried by the weight I don’t care about your energy I just care about our synergy (My head is killing me) I’m “stuck” in love with you and no I don’t want to change our view I'll never sing a song about you so this will have to do This one’s on me And I failed to see How I built this room To become our tomb I can do better I have to I’m not sure where I go When it starts to overflow I just know I still feel the glow (Why I can’t just make this easy?) My head is killing me I’m “stuck” in love with you and no I don’t want to change our view I'll never sing a song about you so this will have to do
8.
(choking) 03:02
Digging up the dirt Between your home and mine Finding out it’s worth And putting it back in time I’ve been good Waiting for my throne I’ve been so good Biting my tongue quite often This is gonna burn I don’t care where you are coming from This is all I wanted and I won I don’t care how much it hurts This is all I wanted and I won My nails rip deep into the floor Pulling back the weight I've been destined to endure Hey I want to thank you for what you did for me It’s just too bad you won’t hear what I really mean This is gonna burn I don’t care where you are coming from This is all I wanted and I won I don’t care how much this hurts This is all I wanted and I won Now I’ve seen you fail It’s almost too good to be true I’ve got nothing left to say to you
9.
I will let you down But wIll you still stick around? Even through the hardest parts? To stay laughing in the dark I'm afraid we will forget Each other and what we always thought it meant To keep such a secret So close to my chest I light you up to help myself again Where do I begin to show you I’m all in? My love feels so obvious But it only leaves you oblivious I don’t deserve you at all I’m in my head again And you’re right there to mend it I don’t deserve you at all I will let you down But wIll you still stick around? Even through the hardest parts? To stay laughing in the dark
10.
I never stood a chance With this race against time The swinging pendulum Has never been that kind How many times can I say? They had it coming anyway They’re pulling my medicine But that won’t set you free What’s the point of living? If I can’t take them with me I’ll probably never use my mouth again I have it figured out I’ll probably never use my mouth again But I have my doubts My pen, it levitates now And awaits my move The sharpest it can be Dig into every groove How many times can I say? They had it coming anyway They’re telling me it’s a sickness But it feels like a charm I can see straight through them No cause for alarm I CALL THEM LIKE I SEE THEM Don’t mistake my attitude for more than it is I’ll probably never use my mouth again I have it figured out I’ll probably never use my mouth again But I have my doubts

credits

released November 10, 2023

Produced by Griffen Holt & Jakob Mooney

Recorded, Mixed, & Mastered by Jakob Mooney at Mooney Recordings in Galloway, OH
Drums Recorded at Vaughan Music Studios in Columbus OH
Assistant Engineering by Scott Saylor

Music Written & Performed by Manor Gates
Lyrics by Griffen Holt
Artwork & Layout by Manor Gates

Manor Gates is:
Griffen Holt - Vocals/Guitar
Jeremy Hill - Drums
Matt Silea - Bass

Additional Vocals in “Toe Tags & Body Bags” provided by Cameron Blair, Zack Elswick, Scott Saylor, Jakob Mooney, & Jeremy Hill
“Stone Cold E.T.” sample performed by @FizzyPops3434

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Manor Gates Columbus, Ohio

Emo Rock from Columbus, OH

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